Originally published Sunday, March 13, 2010
One of a myriad of my guilty pleasures is a cozy coffee shop. Super franchises will do in a pinch, and I appreciate the success indicated by a local chain, but it is nearly impossible to recreate the feel of a one-of-a-kind cafe. Lucky for me, Boulder has them in spades.
My friend has taken to Vic’s Espresso on Table Mesa. I have to admit, the place is jumping as early as 7:30am on weekdays. Seating is limited, so they may be pushing the to-go coffee a little bit much for my tastes. They balance the seating about 50/50 communal vs. private. The obvious selling point here is their gas fireplace and the couches surrounding it. I have to say, even the most mediocre coffee tastes like ambrosia when you’re sitting on a sofa in front of a fire with a snowstorm blowing the temperature to the low teens outside.
I would link to Vic’s, but even though it is a local chain, I can’t seem to find a website for them. So, if you find yourself in south Boulder on a cold day, head to Vic’s on Table Mesa a few blocks west of US 36.
Since moving up closer to campus, I’ve explored the cafe scene a bit. Flatiron Coffee is geographically closest to me. They have a variety of whole bean for sale, but really don’t strike me as a “hang out” type of shop.
Far and away, The Laughing Goat has earned the number one spot on my cafe list here in Boulder. Perhaps it is the novelty of a coffee-pub hybridization of my two favorite beverages that draws me here. Black coffee served in a pint glass and local beers served by the bottle (happy hour PBR tallboy for $2 wtf) blow my mind. With a front wall that opens right onto Pearl Street, there’s endless fuel for the Front Crowd (see below). The Back Crowd is satiated with multiple levels of movable tables, booths, and high-octane espresso. The house speakers play an eclectic mix (read: sometimes an iPod is necessary to drown out the wails), and waiting in occasional line inevitably yields you a helpful and energetic barista.
However, I could make myself coffee and pour it in a pint glass at home. We really come to cafes for some measure of personal interaction. As such, the Goat inevitably provides refuge to a few archetypes of arabica aficionados. Without further ado, I give you a (far from exhaustive) compilation of coffee house profiles:
The Fidgeter - This person comes to the cafe at the behest of his partner. He is not at home here and is obviously out of his element. I imagine his normal workspace consists of piles of papers and books of equal height spread over several desks. A place for everything and everything in it’s place. You can find him in the coffee shop fairly easily: He’s the one who takes six minutes to allocate space on the table for his drink, his partner’s drink, his computer, and every other trinket. This new environment must conform to his ideals in order for him to be productive. As a bonus, you might hear him complaining about how loud the music is in a very un-hip way, even though he appears young and “with it.”
The Zombie - Diametrically opposed to The Fidgeter, this person is a hermit crab and his table and chair are his shell. You might have mistaken him for a part of the eclectic decor of the shop were it not for the occasional landslide of papers emanating from his den. Once you’ve determined that there is something alive in the corner, you’ll notice his unkempt visage reminiscent of a bear emerging from hibernation. Judging by the spread of his work material, he has been here since the shop opened (possibly overnight) and is obviously under a lot of stress. My recommendation: Leave him be; any attempt at contact will at best be met with an ursine grunt and at worst will devolve into a mauling.
The Prioritizer - This person had an assignment due Friday afternoon. Alas, there was viral flash game that went around that day, and he just couldn’t find the time to edit that rough draft. Luckily, he got an extension to Monday morning! Oh joy of joys! Friday evening was spent beating himself up about how much time he wastes online and was followed by a fitful night of sleep after committing to work at the coffee shop on Saturday. At noon on Saturday, he’s all set up at the cafe table and really ready to finish this assignment he’s had on his plate for a month and a half. Out comes the 17-inch laptop and the inevitable email about the crazy stop motion video, then a bio-blog on the artist, then a three hour research bout into the logistics of processing 35,000 still frames into a five-and-a-half minute composition. Soon it is closing time. A prior engagement on Sunday means that he will end up submitting his rough draft on Monday and sliding by without realizing his potential. Again. Rinse, repeat next weekend.
The Reluctant Study Grouper - Study groups are fabulous concepts---for some people. Furthermore, coffee shops are ideal settings for the process of communal learning---at least some shops are. The conflagration of the wrong person at the wrong place is a wondrous thing to behold. Loud-ish music prevent verbal communication at reasonable levels. Small round tables leave books and binders precariously balanced like the nerves of the RSG. She may have come out of an earnest desire to learn and help learn, or she may have less noble motives. Alas, the cute one in the group couldn’t come, and now she is stuck explaining polar coordinates for the third time and not getting help with calculating the Jacobian of her moment of inertia problem. You can find the Reluctant Study Grouper by her bipolar contributions: She will alternate emphatic didactic decrees with long periods of sustained silence and supposed introspection. Also, she’ll probably leave early with a half-baked excuse. Approach with caution. Unless, of course, you can explain Jacobian matrices on the fly.
The Front Crowd (and their bitter rivals The Back Crowd) - While the geometry of every coffee shop is different, derivatives of these two ancient rivals exist everywhere. The Front Crowd is there to see and be seen. They appreciate---nay they thrive on---sustained foot traffic. They singularly derive perverse pleasure from the patron who orders a double skinny mocha, then changes their order to a half-soup to go, but finally decides upon a black tea. The barista’s customer service skills, the fashion walking by on the street, and the bits of conversation floating over the backdrop of Norah Jones are all fodder for their coffee shop experience. The Back Crowd is the yin to their yang, the conservative to their liberal, the Paul to their Yoko. The Back Crowd is here to work (or at least to appear that way...ahem, Mr. Prioritizer). White headphones are firmly implanted in their ear canals, and you will often find three good friends all at the same table looking at three different laptop screens. By the way, if you are the Lenovo to your friends’ MacBooks then yes, you are the Obby.
So how about you? Are you any of the above profiles? Do you know of another universal presence at your corner cafe?
Stay caffeinated,
Clay
